i hope it will always torture you - not the fact that you left me, but the betrayal, all the lies you kept feeding me even when you knew you don't want to be with me.
i kept thinking and i realised you knew it for a long time, at least a month, even when i was still there with you in england. i should've noticed that it's weird that you deleted my picture from your home screen…
what i don't understand is if you are such an amazing lair and actor and that love you showed me was all artificial, or you believed everything you told me at the time?
you are a fucking coward, Lewis. the fact that you couldn't tell me everything looking me in the eyes… i don't know how you live with yourself. you are not even sorry. you were so afraid of the responsibility, this is just ridiculous. and it fucking doesn't get better inside of me, i keep thinking about you, and it hurts more and more, because i am remembering things.
i also can't understand how ignorant and arrogant a person should be not to think that the timing was the worst - when i was still in the hostel, where every single fucking corner reminds me of you, when i just came back from the fairytale being sure that everything is great (only because you are a pussy haha). it is very easy to pretend on distance, you could've waited a week if you weren't going to tell that to my face anyway, wait till i get used to being without you again, but you couldn't even do that.
and, oh god, you couldn't even fucking tell me when have you decided to break up with me. pussy